| Monday January 4, 2010; 3:38pm PST (Los Angeles) |
[Monday
January 4th, 2010 at 3:38pm] |
You know what sucks about being an adult? There's really no such thing as Christmas vacation. Unless your name is Scotty "I suck" Roberts and you're this bigtime rockstar now and you have the money and free time to take an actual vacation, anyway. Have I mentioned how much you suck, Scotty? :P
Anyway, I did get to go home for a few days, at least. The parents were happy to see me and absolutely ecstatic to see me with Owen. I may have forgotten to tell them we were back together again, ooops? It was nice seeing old friends again and being back in a state with actual seasons. Oh, snow! How I miss you! I even got a couple of extra days, because apparently when nature decides to dump, like, 22 inches of snow on your city, it means planes don't fly out for a bit. Damn.
On the bright side, I spent my New Year in Los Angeles, which means I didn't freeze my tush off. Of course, I also had to work on New Years day and far too early at that. FML.
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| Monday November 2; 7:58am PST (LA) |
[Monday
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:52am] |
How absolutely beautiful is this? I've always loved that song, but hearing it as a duet like that only makes me love it more. Also, stumbling upon Josh Groban singing Music of the Night was pretty much a win. It's only my favorite Phantom song and he sings it so beautifully.
I also randomly want to work on a cover of his She's Out of My Life
I'm babbling, aren't I?
[Private to friends who are not Owen Walker]
I still feel a little awkward with Owen since.. the proposal. I don't really know how to fix it. I mean, I know I did the right thing in saying no, because I know I'm not ready for that, yet. I just hope I'm not screwing everything up all over again by wanting to take things slow.
[/Private]
I'm glad I have the day off. I think I'm going to do some writing today.
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| Monday June 22; 4:29PM PST |
[Monday
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:29pm] |
[Blocked from Owen and anyone who would tell him]
I'm getting kind of spoiled by Owen being here. I keep having to tell myself not to get too attached, because what if he leaves again? That seems to be the story of my love life, right? Just when I start to care about a guy, they have to leave the country.
I just.. I can't do it again. I know that's probably not fair, but I lost him once before and I don't want that to happen again. I feel like if I just force myself not to get to close or to just keep things casual, then there's no way either of us can get hurt again.
That's probably stupid, but I don't know what else to do.
I think I'm falling for him again.
[/Block]
Scotty, please tell me you have some time to hang out before you run off and leave me?
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| Friday May 8; 9:51PM PST |
[Saturday
May 9th, 2009 at 12:51am] |
I've been working on this song, but I'm having a little trouble focusing lately. My mind is just in a million different places at once. I guess that's a sign I should take a break or something.
[Private to Self; Readable by Close Friends (not Owen)]
I miss him. Both of them, really. Maybe going to Vegas wasn't a great idea, because everything just kind of came flooding back and I know it was the right thing to do when I let him go, but now he's back and he's... if it wasn't for work, I could hop in my car and be there right now. If it wasn't for work, I would be, because he's being strong and taking care of everyone, but I don't think anyone is taking care of him.
I thought he was going to yell or.. something when he saw me, but he didn't. He acted glad to see me. It was nice. It was so hard to leave again.
This is bad. Owen and I are just friends now. I shouldn't feel the overwhelming urge to just drop everything and go back out there and take care of him. That's just not my place anymore.
It feels like cheating on Shia. We broke up, but it does.
[/Private]
I think I'm going to go out. Maybe do some dancing or something. Anyone care to tag along?
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| Tuesday March 14; 10:27 AM PST |
[Tuesday
April 14th, 2009 at 10:26am] |
Shia and I broke up. Things were going.. I mean, I was missing him a lot.. but we were good. I thought we were good. I thought we'd be fine.
He... leaving me. I can't believe this. He doesn't want to, but the stupid army needs him to go overseas and we just decided it would be for the best. Why do I feel like I've done this before? I can't believe
I know it was really the only thing we could do. We don't really know how long he'll be gone or when I'd see him again or even be able to talk to him and I know we can't have a relationship like that, but.. I hate this.
Somebody please tell me I dreamed this. Tell me this is just a bad dream and I'm going to wake up soon.
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| Wednesday March 18; Noon PST |
[Wednesday
March 18th, 2009 at 10:05am] |
I am beyond exhausted right now. I've been picking up a lot of extra shifts, trying to actually form something of a savings and pay off some bills from the holidays and all of that and my feet are absolutely killing me. You know it's bad when you sleep for 6 hours or so and when you wake up, your feet are still so sore that you really don't want to stand.
Of course, it would be nice if the clientele was a little.. classier. Why do some men thing it's acceptable to grab their waitresses ass as they walk by? I was sorely tempted to "accidentally" spill some coffee on his lap. My boss can be kind of a douche, though, and I really do need this job as I am, sadly, not a famous rockstar, yet, so I forced myself to behave. It was definitely tempting, though.
Today is my first full day off in about two weeks and I intend to spend it having some quality time with my living room sofa and my TIVO. Unless someone has a compelling reason for me to move from this spot, I intend to stay right where I am all day.
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| Saturday February 14; 7am PST |
[Saturday
February 14th, 2009 at 10:49am] |
[blocked from Shia and anyone who would ruin the surprise]
I'm sitting in the airport right now, about to get on a plane. Shia has nooooo idea, I don't think. I'm planning to just show up at his shop and surprise him. I'm going to get him some.. I don't know.. do boys like flowers or is that too girly? I want to get him something besides something sexy to wear for him later, but I'm not really sure what a good thing to get a boy is. I've never really had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day before!
[/block]
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| Sunday January 17; 10:17AM PST |
[Sunday
January 18th, 2009 at 1:16pm] |
Better late than never, but I gave Scotty his Christmas present yesterday. I know, I know, but it had to be scheduled and I wanted it to be a surprise. So I basically bought him some studio time so he could go in and record a demo. We had a great time in the studio and it's really a miracle we got any work done, because we probably played around far too much.
We did meet someone, though, and get invited to come back in and.. I think there was something about him producing something or something. I don't really remember the specifics, because it was far too exciting!
ANYWAY, can you believe we are halfway through January, already? It's insane! I feel like the New Year just started, like, yesterday.
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| Thursday, January 1; 6:40pm CST |
[Thursday
January 1st, 2009 at 7:39pm] |
I have been having a really good holiday. I took a couple of weeks off of work, which is probably going to make money tight this month, but I think it was completely worth it. Shia came out for a few days and we flew back to Chicago together. It was really nice having him here!
I've been dividing my time between him and Daddy, for the most part. Mom and her husband came by for a couple of days, too, and it was really nice to see them. It was nice to see old friends and everything, too.
I'm going to miss everyone when I head back to LA, but I am definitely starting 2009 on a HAPPY note!
Scotty, I have a gift for you, but I'll have to give it to you when I get back to LA. When do you have a free after noon next week?
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